Writing about this is going to feel like I'm writing my life as it stands currently. As a woman of 45, I am yet to experience menopause but yet feel that it is around the corner, just waiting for the right time to say hi. I am, as are many of my friends and clients, experiencing gentle changes that I know are going to increase over the next few years. I'd say I'm in the peri-menopausal stage of life and am beginning to see that I will have to say goodbye to a few things in my life. I'm not talking about people (although you never know!), or material objects. I'm talking about parts of myself that no longer serve me well or that are literally, leaving me. Particularly in the last couple of years, I can see changes in my body, changes in my skin and I know that this is happening and that I might just have to get used to it. I know that I am in a good place physically and I will continute to work hard on my health and yes, on my physique. I've never exercised purely for asthetic reasons, I just love moving. However now, exercising and being healthy is more for feeling and being strong, for ensuring that I can continue to wear the clothes that I like, that I can carry shopping, that I can continue an active and fun filled life. It's about really working out what I enjoy and what I want to do. I guess you could say that this is my 'midlife' and in terms of years, maybe it is. But I don't like the stigma that comes with that word. It is almost used as an insult to call someone 'middle aged', I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's because this is a time of life when what you like becomes unclear and a bit beige and you really have to work it all out again. What has worked for me in the past in terms of relationships, lifestyle, even the way I think, doesn't always work now.
The title of this short blog, moving fowards and saying goodbye, comes from a place of knowing that change is coming and coming more quickly than ever. The saying goodbye is saying goodbye to thoughts and the person that I was ten years ago. Of course at the core I am the same person, but, we do grieve for the youth, for the younger woman, perhaps the attention too? It's difficult to say that out loud without sounding needy and shallow, but I think for most women, it's the truth. Attention does wane as youth leaves us. The trick is not to care about that too much and have the belief that this next stage of life can be equally as fulfilling, if not more! It can be a time of freedom, of really knowing who you are and what you want.
As I write this, I'm updating my Vitality Menopause course and will include lots of this thinking in the course itself. Tackling and coming to terms with what you really want from life is key to having a rewarding, and dare I say it, even beneficial menopause?
Looking forward to sharing some more of my blogs dring lockdown, I hope they give you something to consider and think about.
Here's to the next 45 years!